Gamshoo-mon! Paramount reigns in the arena of Star Trek; Decker oversees Star Traks stadium; and I direct BorgSpace in the back lot. Iron Artist {...wy,} continued Weapons in the intranets. He stopped, shocked, as no longer were the torpedoes just fired present, but neither was the opposition...nor the universe, for that matter. Simultaneously, a voice loudly asked the question, "Now will someone listen to me, or do I have to perform a Big Bang outside your hull to get your attention?" The eyeball was back, half in and half out of a bulkhead wall in Captain's nodal intersection. In another part of Cube #347, Assimilation observed with distant boredom: it was a punctuation in yet another day of dull existence. The Director's banter with Captain and Second was pushed to a corner of awareness, the remainder of attention focused upon the mixture within vat #7 of Nanite Assembly Room #3. If Assimilation had little to do before the beginning of this flux jump, dice rolling nonsense, he and his hierarchy had even less chance to perform their function now. Oh, sure, there was the routine, the making sure the regeneration system nanite mixtures were correct, the observations of vats for optimal growth, but that was, after all, routine. A trained monkey could do as well; and most of the functions were performed by autonomic computer subroutines, anyway. The brewing of a specialized nanoprobe strain for the shuttle-bot competition had required several hours of rush, rush, rush, afterwards the assimilation hierarchy having returned to its normal occupation of developing neuroses. Without explicit direction from the Greater Consciousness, the sub-collective of Cube #347 could not assimilate sentient species except in self-defense. {Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!} whimpered Sensors into the intranets as she degenerated under the lack of sensor grid input. The outburst was allowed to continue for fifty long seconds before Captain temporarily sent the insectoid into deep regeneration. "How much time is this going to take, this traveling? It is disrupting to this sub-collective," asked Captain to the Director, momentarily catching Assimilation's attention. Vat #7 required a bit extra carbon and chromium; and as they were released into the mixture it would necessitate several minutes for the elements to disperse throughout the slurry. Proper balancing was tricky, and the vat's sensors were not quite calibrated correctly, compelling the personal presence of a drone to direct the process until such time they could be readjusted. The Director, apparently stuck in the bulkhead, was now visible, the many holoemitted displays previously obscuring it dismissed. It seemed resigned to its position, producing bubbles with the fake cigar as it consulted its PADD. It glanced up, however something all eye could glance up, at Captain's question. "Time is a fairly meaningless concept at the moment. In actuality, the flux jump is instantaneous, but for you to blink out of one reality and pop into the next, well, there is a high probability you would all emerge insane. This period of passing is for the best." Second snorted, "And we aren't insane now?" "Only by the tenets of your Collective. Probably the majority of the rest of your home galaxy as well, although I've not asked around. I do know that there is a small corner of the multiverses where you would be considered perfectly sane, but I'm pretty sure you won't be sent there. Speaking of which, could you quiet it down so I can finish researching this roll?" asked the Director "So we aren't going home?" flatly said Captain, more statement than question. The Director grimaced. "No, -6,745,900 is not the roll to send you back to your origin. I'm happy it was an integer, to tell you the truth. Some of those imaginary numbers are brutal locations." Assimilation's concentration was drawn back to the vat he currently stood next to, hand linked into adjacent data pillar. The carbon and chromium were now at optimum levels, but a small bit of iron and calcium needed to be added to the mixture. The computer was ordered to do so. "Here comes the landing! See you later, I hope!" called the Director hurriedly. "What about this reality?" swiftly asked Captain. "What about your research?" It was too late, the eyeball had already vanished, leaving behind a trio of cigar bubbles. Assimilation dismissed the remote dataspace feeds and refocused undivided attention to the riveting display of nanite solution ionic balance. A great reverberating BONG rang the superstructure of Cube #347 as a deep voice intoned "Minus 6,745,900." Suddenly, everything darkened, as if a blanket had been thrown over the lights. At the same instant, Assimilation felt as if he had been plunged into a sensory cocoon, feeling, hearing, everything wrapped in a thick blanket. Before he could react, could do more than register the phenomenon, sight returned with blazing intensity, bright spotlights hitting him in the face. One hand was raised to shade eyes from the brilliance as optic implants automatically adjusted. Although senses had returned, the link with the sub-collective remained dulled. If Assimilation concentrated, he could feel the rest of his compatriots present, but they were far, far away. The sensation was mildly disturbing, but not something to induce panic, not when there was another threat looming much more immediate. The situation might even prove to be a decent diversion from his normal boring existence, for a minute or two. The lights swung away, turning to focus on a large area, roughly circular, half surrounded by bleacher style seating. Assimilation was in a deep aisle splitting the bleachers. In the open area was a long stage against the back wall, spots of differing gray shades (presumably color, but Assimilation could not discern it) marking four separate locations. It was fronted by a low dais, currently empty. In the center of the circle stood a huge table, upon which existed a bewildering array of what Assimilation could only classify as art supplies, from humongous blocks of fresh clay to rows of paint bottles to a variety pens and pencils; and flanking the table were two low counters which housed multitudes of drawers of all shapes and sizes. Frisbee-sized cameras floated here and there like miniature flying saucers. "Welcome to Artist Arena! Please honor your holographic GameShow Host, Zyrian!" announced a bodiless tenor from hidden speakers far above. Spotlights danced. A deafening roar arose from the bleachers. For the first time, Assimilation noticed that the seats were full of people of various races, some recognizable and some not. They were focused on the dais, howling, clapping, stomping, and generally carrying on. The volume rose in intensity until Assimilation was forced to lower audio input else suffer hearing damage. A thickness of air over the dais caught Assimilation's attention, a shimmering which was the first indication of a holoemitter in action. Swiftly it formed into what he recognized as a Mark I hologram based on the ancient pre-Dark EMH design, but with modifications. A full head of hear was present; and there was a hint of the Orient to the predominantly Caucasian bone structure, a suggestion of darker skin and slanted eye, but with the interbreeding Terrans had experienced following their expanse into space, all humans had a bit of Asian in their background, as well as multitudes of other ethnicities. Zyrian (Assimilation tried to remember why the name held relevance, but without a better link to the sub-collective, was denied additional data) wore a flowing robe of velvet trimmed with shiny metallics, and offset by intricate designs. Assimilation did not need a color sense to know the combinations were undoubtedly very tacky. Zyrian held up his hands, then lowered them, quieting the awaiting audience. He began to speak, "Thank you. Thank you. Today you are here at Artist Arena, where I have brought the premier artists of the galaxy despite barriers of distance and time. When you have enough money, after all, nothing is an obstacle." Laughter followed that comment. Peering upwards, Assimilation spotted several ceiling-mounted teleprompters facing the crowd, keying appropriate responses. "And, for those four artists, the best of the best, I summon masters of the art of sculpture, of music and poetry, of photography, of painting, to challenge my Iron Artists. Many are those who aspire to meet by artists in competition, and few are those who are successful. Before I bring forth today's challenger, I introduce the panel of judges, all familiar faces to us at Artist Arena." A hand was gestured towards a line of three people sitting behind a table whom Assimilation had not previous noticed. They were on the far left of the arena, just in view. Each had an intent, even stern expression on his or her face. A camera silently floated towards the trio, lens glinting. "The first," announced Zyrian, "is Atia 'Gertrude' Koi, hostess of the popular call-in subspace radio show 'The Psychic Hour.'" Atia ("Call me Gertrude, dearie, like I tell you every time") was an odd Vulcan-Betazoid hybrid dressed in a shimmering green and blue pattered dress. On her head was a fancy scarf, top knot tied at a jaunty angle, which did not quite disguise the fact that she was bald. Crystals hung from her ears and around her neck. The voice of the self-proclaimed psychic as she bantered with Zyrian was powerful, as befitting a subspace radio host. Zyrian grimaced at Atia and said, "Enough, Gertrude, we do have a show to produce here." Light laughter sounded as it was cued from the overhead board. "Seriously, the next on the judging panel is perhaps our most somber member: Sasig Gyver, art critic." Sasig Gyver was a full-blooded Klingon, maybe a bit on the heavy side around the waist and under the jowls, but more than capable of throwing his considerable weight around. He wore a grim frown; and his arms were crossed in front of him. A formidable presence, he did not break his silence, merely nodding at the hologram in acknowledgment. Zyrian showed no discomfiture at the art critic's dour attitude, instead plunging ahead to the final board member. "Last, but certainly not least, is the heartthrob from 'All My Latinum,' Wok Ulitch." Sighs arose from the crowd, uncued, as females (and some males) swooned over the small Ferrengi. He wore a half unbuttoned shirt which exposed his hairless, orange chest and lazily stroked his lobes before leeringly winking. There was a thump as an audience member fainted and slid through the slats of the bleachers, falling to the ground. A camera buzzed quickly overhead to catch the action. "Good! And with our judges introduced, it is time for our challenger! Please give a warm welcome to," Zyrian peered at a small card which suddenly materialized in one hand, "13 of 20, also called Assimilation. He is here," another pause as the card was consulted, "from somewhere and appears to be a renown painter, although no examples of his works can be found. Maybe there are all in private collection. There is absolutely no history about our challenger, but as no other artists were willing to take up this contest - there is no truth to the rumor that the game is fixed - we are thus forced to scrape the bottom of the barrel until our lawyers straighten everything out, therefore, this is the best we can get. However, I expect it will still be a dandy of a contest!" Cheering of a robotic quality erupted. Assimilation had resolved several discrete humanoids at the bleacher edges holding phasers when something pushed hard from behind. He reflexively stepped forward, but before he could glance behind to see who or what had shoved him, bright spotlights stabbed him in the face. "Welcome, Assimilation!" cried the voice of Zyrian as the drone stumbled into the center of the arena, a pair of cameras stooping like over-eager vultures. Quieter, the hologram hissed, "Get up here. By my side. Smile, if you can. You aren't the first artist we've kidnapped for the show, and you won't be the last. The ratings are too good. Pretend you are having an enjoyable time." Bewildered, Assimilation did as bid, although smiling was out of the question. Kidnapped? Didn't that Director say something about these realities having logical backgrounds which would rationalize Borg presence? Assimilation had not been paying attention at the time of explanation, a particularly tricky shade of Bulkhead Gray #8 requiring his focus. He tried, once more, to reach the sub-collective, but the link remained indistinct, fuzzy. "Assimilation! What an odd name, but better than that mouthful 13 of 20. So how are you? Excited to be on this show? Do you have what it takes to beat my Iron Artists?" Before Assimilation could respond, Zyrian hurried on. "Of /course/ you are, for this is an honor! As far beating them, well, we will see." The hologram stepped away from the drone, flinging an arm towards the spotlit stage. Theatric dry ice vapors began to swirl dramatically as pounding music from an unseen orchestra sounded; cameras bobbed up and down. "Now, I introduce the Iron Artists of Artist Arena, the best of the best!" "First is Kolth Ju'vich, Iron Artist Sculptor, the Klingon master sculpture. If it can be shaped by hand, tool, or machine, Kolth is the man to ask for, if you can afford his price! With an aggressive style both in the Arena and with his sculptures, Kolth is surely at the acme of his trade. Just don't get between him and the last hunk of wet clay, if you value your hand." Polite laughter, then cheers followed the introduction by Zyrian. On the stage at the leftmost spotlight, a Klingon form was rising from below stage level. He was set in a threatening posture, clutching chisel and hammer to his chest as if he were to charge into battle with the tools as his weapons. The scowl on his face combined with deeper than average brow ridges to add to his belligerent manner. He was dressed shirt, trousers, and artist smock of a darker material, not quite black to Assimilation's sight; and peeking over his right shoulder was the end of a bat'lith. Assimilation quashed an unBorg urge to hide his organic hand behind his back, out of sight of the sculptor. Zyrian continued with introductions, moving to the next. "Always a favorite is Iron Artist Composer, Aqua Shrrrritz[pop!] [wavering trill]Li." The mouthful of a name was not actually pronounced in the hologram's own voice, but rather a prerecording produced by the one species who could say the chords without resembling a badly tuned quartet missing all its pieces. "This Bug is Iron Arena's own muse of music and poetry; and even when her listeners cannot understand her imagery, it always sounds nice." To the side of the Klingon sculptor, a species #6766 insectoid rose silently to stage level. While many might consider a giant bug-like creature with the general form of a praying mantis to be a bad nightmare, compared to the scowling Kolth, Aqua was as threatening as a bunny. She stood relaxed on her four walking legs, an archaic quill pen held poised in one hand as if to write poetry upon the air, and a conducting baton in the other hand ready to lead an orchestra. The insectoid visage had no expression, of course, and one not a Bug could not read the minute body gestures that in the species were as rich a form of communication as speaking, but the impression was of Aqua smiling. An ill-fitting apron hung around her neck, lighter in shade than her neighbor; and an abstract design of the same hue was painted on her carapace. "Third in my stable of renown artists is Telsa Artick, Iron Artist Photography. A human, yes, but it was humans who invented the medium known as 'Retro New Age' aural photography. The art has now spread to all civilized corners of the galaxy and is practiced by a wide range of races, but it is to the Terrans one must look to find the master of masters." Next in line on the stage gracefully appeared a human female. Telsa was over-tall for her species, and thin with a graceful air, indicating that she had been born and raised in a low gravity environment. Her pose was one of rapture as she gazed upwards into a trio of glinting crystals dangling at the end of a necklace. Telsa's clothing was a riot of billowing robes with grays in clashing patterns, although a white smock, which Assimilation was learning to be a theme, was present. Suspicious, the drone compared the facial structures of the Iron Artist and the psychic judge; and despite the fact the former had luxurious tresses while the latter did not, there was more than a passing resemblance which suggested a familial relationship. As the audience's expression of appreciation died down, a hush of expectancy filled the arena. Zyrian flashed a wide grin. "And last, but certainly not least, is Seltat LaVoore, Iron Artist Painter, a Qua'tohf who is /the/ acknowledged master in all things which require a brush be put to canvas...or paper or plaster or cloth or anything, for that matter. Welcome the fourth Iron Artist!" If the stomping and clapping had been intense before, it was nothing compared to now. The teleprompters had not even been required to be lit. The man who rose from below stage knew the audience was favorable of him, and the lopsided smirk showed it. Seltat was a Gaelic Faire warrior in an artist's black smock, paintbrush held in one hand while the other arm cradled a palette. At 190 centimeters he was not quite as tall as Telsa, but he was more heavily muscled than the aural photographer. Features were classic elf, from bone structure to pointed ears, a form Assimilation knew well because it belonged to his base race. Assimilation's organic eye had widened at the initial mention of name, for it was his own, or had been his own before Borg processing had rendered such identifiers irrelevant. Even with monochromatic vision, Assimilation knew that the stage Seltat's short hair was black, his eyes gray-blue. Was this the Seltat Assimilation could have became had he not been in a shuttle accident, or was it a different timeline, a different reality with little relationship to his own excepting name and occupation? Sensing the intense scrutiny he was under, Seltat's own eyes slid sideways to examine his examiner. A moment of confusion swept across his face, as if he somehow recognized himself under Assimilation's hardware, body suit, and surgical modifications. The visual indication of deja vu was swiftly suppressed, however, as Zyrian urged the crowd to silence so that the contest might continue. "Assimilation, who shall you pick to be your opponent? Which Iron Artist will you endeavor to beat for the top prize of becoming an Iron Artist yourself?" Ambient music lowered in volume to a guttural growl. There was no conflict in Assimilation's mind as to his choice, as to who he had to pick. "Iron Artist Painter, Seltat LaVoore." As a smiling Seltat stepped forward and down off the stage, as music swelled into thunder, as the crowd cheered, Zyrian raised his hands high. The hologram loudly shouted over the noise, "Seltat LaVoore it is! Iron Artist Painter! If our two combatants will take their places, the challenge will be revealed!" Meanwhile, on the stage, the remaining Iron Artists sank out of sight below stage. Seltat gave a jaunty wink at Assimilation, then went to the counter left of the central supplies table. He removed his smock, substituting it for one much more worn, fabric splattered with the endeavors of past contests until it was itself a careless abstract. Assimilation considered the situation, analyzing the surreptitious security presence, and especially their weapons. While assimilation units were often included as second-line with tactical during assaults, necessitating a tougher than average exoskeletal armoring and EM warding ability, without a firm linkage to the sub-collective there was no given that the few common personal shield adaptation routines he kept within onboard storage would be sufficient. A move to assimilate or a move to attack (one and the same for Borg) would likely result in a very crispy Assimilation. Therefore, the Borg option, that which he had been specialized upon his assimilation to perform, was, as usual, denied. As the shadowy guards at arena periphery noted his overly long pause, as phasers begun to lazily swing in his direction, Assimilation took the several steps necessary to reach the counter opposite Seltat. A white apron, crisply new, awaited for Assimilation to don. He awkwardly did so, clothes a foreign element, as was the flexibility required to tie the strings around his back. Zyrian stalked to the low dais in front of the stage, the latter beginning to sink away to lie flush with the floor. The dry ice vapors had returned, billowing around the hologram's feet as the tip of something rose from the dais. That something resolved into the peak of a tent of fabric draped over an unknown item. Cameras orbited Zyrian and the dais for a 360 degree circular view. Of the hidden object, nothing could be determined other than it was roughly the size of a prone humanoid body, such were the obscuring folds of fabric. As the vapors dissipated, it was possible to see that the lower edge of the cloth was damp, and that a clear, viscous liquid was slowly trickling to the ground. "Before the subject is revealed, the medium is presented: static oils! Artists, your tools are thus delivered." A transporter beam materialized an easel before each contestant, canvas already set upon it. Before his assimilation, Assimilation had been cognizant in all the many variations painting could take, but had been chief among the advocates of traditional oils. With static oils, the canvas was stretched across a device which, at the flick of a button, dried any paints already applied, cutting days of labor into mere hours, even minutes. A special wand allowed portions of the canvas to have its paint "rewetted," thus allowing mixing of oils. Assimilation had been a purist, considering the static oil technique as one more assault upon the true artist, turning compositions which should require days, if not weeks, to complete into assembly line productions. The layperson may not be able to tell the difference between traditional and static oils, but any connoisseur would not be fooled. Assimilation glared at the easel disdainfully. A glance to Seltat showed an overt expression of similar contempt at his canvas, but it also revealed the arrival of several additional security guards in the background. "Remember, contestants, you have one hour to complete your masterpiece for the panel to judge. The time will be ticking. Everything you need is on the supply table or in your counter. If, by some reason, you cannot find an item or material you require, just tell me, and it will be delivered promptly." Zyrian paused, allowing a hushed expectation to fill the arena. "And now, the moment you've all be waiting for...the subject. Iron Artist, challenger, I present you the most recent Miss Milky Way, in the nude, on a bed of greens, fruits, and fish products! Begin!" The dropcloth was swept dramatically aside, revealing a forest green slug. Miss Milky Way might be the approximate size of a humanoid, but she (assuming it was a she by Zyrian's proclamation, for there was no way for the uninformed to tell the difference) did not have a similar form. She lay redolent in a pose that might have been seductive to another of her species, half on her side and half on her singular foot. Forebody curled upwards to shoulders and a pair of seemingly boneless arms. There was no neck, body melding with the head region to form a "face" mostly sharp-toothed maw. Incongruously, the mouth was heavily ringed with red lipstick. Two bulbous eyes rose on eyestalks that gently swayed back and forth in an unfelt breeze. As slime oozed from slug body to dais to ground, slowly producing a puddle which threatened to migrate across the floor unless something was done to halt its progression, Assimilation idly wondered how one could tell such a species was naked or not. It did not look like it had a body which adapted well to the concept of clothes, or that clothes would even be necessary for reasons of modesty except to another...whatever it was. As she lay in a melody of leaves, exotic fruits, and fish heads, a dinner entree ready to be served, Miss Milky Way slowly winked one eye. "A beauty, isn't she?" asked Zyrian to the crowd. Stunned silence was broken by wolf whistles as the audience was cued. "That's what I thought." The fleet of saucer cameras drank it all in. Assimilation had opened his mouth to inquire upon what aesthetic sense judges had crowned the slug Miss Milky Way, when he heard a whisper directed his way. As he gathered pigments and paints from the supply table, seemingly concentrating solely on his choices, Seltat quietly hissed, "Don't ask questions. Just paint, and hopefully you'll get out of here. We'll talk later, if we can, when the cameras aren't focused on us. For now, just paint." Selections complete, the Iron Artist leapt to his side of the arena and began organizing his booty. Approaching the central table, Assimilation looked it over. Obviously there were a great many of colors present, but he could not determine what they were. It was depressing. Once he had been able to discern the finest of hues. Mixing them together would be a farce, creating, most likely, the muddy brownish shade with which every child who has used finger-paints is familiar. However, there were the well-known, the black and the white, and it was those Assimilation appropriated. Black and white were the core components of gray. Within multiple drawers and behind the doors which were part of Assimilation's work counter were a wide variety of bowls and cups, paddles and ladles, pails and buckets. One at a time, the containers were taken from their storage location and set upon the countertop, next to the mound of white and black pigments. Soon, all receptacles, from teacup to cauldron, was filled with a shade of gray under construction, each of which looked exactly the same to the one adjacent, unless one was a cybernetic being with augmented monochromatic-only vision. With his peripheral vision, Assimilation noticed the shimmering of air which heralded the arrival of a hologram. As it was not important, he ignored it, concentrating on the batches of Bulkhead Hue #1 through #10 which were being created. The flickering grew increasingly distinct, resolving into a two-third sized version of Zyrian with facial features cast more from the simian mode than the human. The mini-Zyrian pattered up to Assimilation, materialized a holographic stepping stool, mounted it, then loudly inquired in a pipping munchkin voice, "Whatcha doing?" Assimilation was silent. It was quite obvious what he was doing. Behind his back, at Seltat's counter, he heard a similar voice asking a similar question: the Iron Artist had his own imp bothering him. "Whatcha doing?" persisted the mini-Zyrian, leaning forward to peer into a pail of paint. "If the question is answered, will you desist?" A dollop of black was dripped into white, perfecting Bulkhead Hue #6. The imp shrugged, then made as if to touch a finished batch of Hull Metal #7. A camera swooped for a manual close-up. Assimilation slapped the hand away with a swipe of a stirring stick, then aimed a second at the camera, which quickly retreated. "Do not touch. Paint is being mixed for this composition, and hands, holographic or otherwise, must not be in it." "Ah," nodded the hologram sagely, its monkey-like features showing comprehension. It stepped off its stool, dragged it to the side, then stepped upon it again. Once so positioned, it shouted, "Gamshoo-mon! The challenger is mixing lots of gray paint for reasons unknown! All the paint looks exactly the same!" Assimilation paused in his work to stare at the high-pitched commentary, then turned as the twin mini-Zyrian also reported: "Gamshoo-mon! Seltat is mixing silver specks into his green paint. He says that it is to 'make Miss Milky Way shine like her namesake.'" The Borg returned to his preparations. The picture on the canvas slowly, yet quickly due to the imposed time limit, took shape. It was a perfect replica of the lounging Miss Milky Way, from slime slowly rolling to the floor to fish heads to bulbous eyes. It was also in such fine gradations of gray that the canvas looked like a foggy day at the coast during a volcanic ash eruption at dusk. The static oil canvas gave some trouble, as the device was normally wont to do, drying paint in the middle of a stroke when no button had been touched, thus freezing the brush to the painting. Traditional oil techniques were much better, if of lesser technology, but they also didn't allow an action-packed hour of artistic production. Occasionally Assimilation tried to discern what Seltat was painting. His competitor's canvas, however, was kept, like a paranoid poker player, with the business side hidden at all times. Meetings at the supply table inevitably were accompanied by flying cameras, and Seltat's demeanor was an overt agonistically utterly unlike the original meeting. Instead of words of advice, Seltat dealt snide comments and criticisms, as well as colorful insults which had the crowd alternately laughing and cheering. Assimilation was not a popular person, mostly because he refused to respond to the threats, doing so not only an unBorg action, but requiring undue effort of Assimilation's part. During the entire hour, the mini-Zyrian attached to Assimilation seemed determined to be in the way. Standing on its stool, it would continually ask "Whatcha doing?" and "Why?" in its maddening voice which was a nano away from crossing the line into whining. Once an answer or explanation was received, the hologram would scramble away to do its "Gamshoo-mon" report before weaseling back underfoot. Ignoring it did not make it go away, only become more annoying; and there was no possibility of scrambling the emitters without access to something more technically interfaced with the arena computer systems than an electric paint stirring device. At ten minute intervals, a vaguely feminine voice would announce the time remaining in the contest. Throughout, the cameras flew, sometimes unobtrusive, but mostly not. There were eight of the machines, distinguishable only by "seeing" their electromagnetic aura, otherwise outwardly all alike. They paused to image crowd reactions, to capture the commentaries of holographic host and judge panel, to perform manual close-ups which practically had the saucers sitting on Assimilation's head to photograph his work in progress. "Two minutes," called the pseudowoman, voice echoing throughout the arena. Seltat increased his speed to a frantic pace that somehow outstripped his earlier swift painting. Thick liquids and metallic dust flew, most of it landing in precise patterns on canvas. Assimilation plodded at his normal rate, the one calculated most efficient for the task, holographic interruptions and nosy cameras notwithstanding. It was a monotonous pace fitting with Assimilation's monotonous mind, with the monotonous contest, with a monotonous world. Hopefully this game would be complete soon and he would be allowed to return to Cube #347. "One minute." "Thirty seconds" "Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Time is up! Put down your paintbrushes." The crowd erupted into cued applause as Seltat finished his composition with a flourish, pressing the button on the side of the canvas to freeze the oils. He smiled widely, swept a low bow to the crowd, a second towards Zyrian and judges, and a final one at Assimilation. He then proceeded to remove his smock, an hour of work added to the abstract designs of previous contests, substituting it for the clean apron of black. On his side of the arena, Assimilation added a last touch up of Goop #18, and similarly froze his image. "Time is up!" shouted Zyrian as he energetically leapt from his place near the judge panel table to the main arena floor. The mini-Zyrians scattered as he neared, disappearing midstep to wherever it is holograms go when they are not visually displayed. The GSH beamed at Iron Artist and challenger. "If the paintings will be moved to the judges, the next step of the process can begin." Large humans with more than a slight touch of Klingon in their bloodlines entered from off-arena. Likely moonlighting as bouncers at the rougher nightclubs, the four burly men were no holograms. Two each carefully lifted easel and canvas, carrying them to the awaiting judges and setting them so the paintings were displayed to good effect for the crowd. A pair of cameras floated near as the porters left the arena, one per picture, for a close-up, before backing to their normal orbit above (and, occasionally, in the middle of) the action. Assimilation's painting was an exact likeness of the subject, approaching as close to three-dimensional as possible on a two-dimensional surface, assuming one had the ability to resolve fine gradations of gray. The difference between Bulkhead Hue #1 and Bulkhead Hue #10 was minute, unable to be distinguished except by a computer so programmed and outfitted with a special camera, or a few select nocturnal species who relied on eyesight as their primary sense, none of whom were present as judge or audience member. For everyone else, the canvas was a solid block of boring gray. Seltat's picture, on the other hand, was a rich tapestry of colors (not that Assimilation could distinguish them) painted in an abstract impressionist style. Miss Milky Way was little more than a suggestion of a green smear, and everything else was even more indistinct, verging on multicolored haze. An exception was the model's eyeballs, which were very detailed, although located at opposite sides of the canvas, unassociated with the subject; and, oddly, the eyes of the fish heads were similarly explicit. Likewise, Miss Milky Way's mouth received individual treatment, painted the brightest pink possible, a hue which forced any observer to squint. Zyrian waved his arm with a flourish at the canvases, as different from each other as were the painters. Yet, there was an odd similarity in brushstroke, in composition, should a professor of the visual arts closely examine the works, just as Assimilation and Seltat were improbably related. Such nuances, however, were lost on GameShow Host hologram, judge panel, and audience alike. "Who's masterpiece is fated to be guarded by police? Who's work is it kinder to use it as a garbage can liner? Let us turn to the judge panel to find out!" pronounced Zyrian, the phrases awkward in flow, as if writers had struggled for hours to find a rhyme which would parse before giving up and using the first of many increasingly senseless suggestions. The trio of judges stood and walked over to regard the paintings, a process which required much easel circling, muttering of comments in overloud voices, and gestures. The Klingon art critic crossed his arms across his chest and set a dour expression on his face, one which crinkled his forehead ridges even deeper than normal. Psychic Gertrude produced a crystal ball and proceeded to gaze deeply within it, occasionally flicking her eyes between scene of gray and suggestion of green slug. The Ferrengi Wok struck poses for an appreciative audience. Through it all the cameras wove, no attention paid to the two artists, who had been directed to a position on the sidelines. "Do you see this part here?" "That brushline, I don't know...." "Bah, I've seen better compositions from three year old children given finger-paints." "Will you stop preening, Wok, and help us decide this contest?" "It's all a show," whispered Seltat out of the corner of his mouth at Assimilation. "The cameras aren't on us, and neither is Zyrian. Security couldn't care less. We have a few minutes to talk, as long as we are quiet about it." The Iron Artist carefully kept lip movement minimal and an expression of knowing anticipation on his face, just in case a flying camera should turn in his direction. Assimilation was brought out of the musing in which he had been engaged. Innate programming had been initiated, that which examined the probabilities of a drone to expand the Collective. Without others supporting the introspective, all calculations were suspect, but it was amusing, in a morbid way. So far, Assimilation had shelved fifty-three methods of what was essentially suicide, some more creative than others, ranging from covertly infecting Seltat with nanoprobes to outright jumping into the audience. It passed the time, even if it was as boring as any other prospect in Assimilation's dull life. The Borg shifted his outward attention towards his alter-self even as he contemplated scenario number fifty-four. "I'm not sure where they got you, friend, but hopefully you'll be heading back there soon," muttered Seltat. "There is a certain...likeness in you. I don't know what, but normally I don't bother risking their wrath with talking. They think I've finally broken." The 'their' and 'they' were not explained. "The game is fixed. Money is passed to the judges during the head-to-head portion of the show, which determines who actually wins. Usually it is the Iron Artist, even when the creation is substandard. All us Iron Artists are essentially slaves. Sure, we can have anything we desire, but we are not allowed to leave, not allowed to talk to anyone of the world outside studio and apartments. What I'm doing right now is liable to win me punishment, but I can take it: I have before. They can't do anything which might be visible to the audience or hinder my creativity." Seltat abruptly stopped as Zyrian glanced in their direction, indicating with a hand wave a point under discussion. The Iron Artist snorted loudly, then shifted his expression into one of arrogant disdain, as if conveying the attitude that his work was the superior of the two. Focus returned to the easels. "That was close," hissed Seltat. "No matter. The only way for me to leave here is to lose a contest, whereupon the challenger takes over as Iron Artist, but I'm sure you already know that. Everyone who watches the show or knows anything about it knows that point. That is why no artist in his or her or its sane mind wants to be on the show anymore, because rumors of Iron Artist indenturhood has spread. However, no one knows what happens to the dismissed Iron Artist, although we, the four of us locked up here, hope the one defeated is allowed to rejoin the wider universe. I'm not quite sure that happens, unfortunately, because although the other three Iron Artists have been here less time than me, none of them has heard of any exploits by former Iron Artists prior to their arrival. It is like they...disappear." Assimilation opened his mouth to reply, then closed it again as Seltat dug an elbow into his ribs. Or, at least, where his ribs would be located if he wasn't armored in the torso region. Seltat winced as the action produced a *thump* and the beginnings of a bruise on his arm. The debate over the paintings had come to a conclusion, Zyrian approaching master and challenger with a wide smile, followed by a quartet of floating cameras. "A decision has been made! Please, you two, step over to the panel and hear all about it!" The judges had retaken their former seats. Zyrian indicated where to go with an intricate hand flourish. Seltat took the lead with Assimilation trailing behind. Continued the hologram when everyone was positioned to his liking, "First the challenger. Comments?" Sasig cleared his throat, a ponderous sound fitting to his ponderous bulk. He leaned back in his chair, which creaked alarmingly. "The challenger presents a blank slate, literally, it seems. Anything can be put upon it, be it the model or something else. It is the essence of existentialism painted on a canvas. I, personally, would prefer a bit more color, though. The monotony of gray does little to uplift the spirits, a quality inherent in a persona such as Miss Milky Way." "I disagree," interrupted Gertrude. "It is a bold stab in a new direction, a reflection of the shallowness our society embraces. The gray symbolizes the fog of our minds, through which nothing can be seen, not beauty, not intelligence, nothing." Wok blinked. "My turn? I don't really like it, actually. It doesn't look like Miss Milky Way at all. Not a bit." Gertrude replied, "I never said I liked it or not, myself. I just noted that it takes an artist with a lot of, um, lobe, to put it in crude terms you would understand, to try something so radical." The Ferrengi nodded, then squinted at Assimilation, as if to see where lobes might be hiding on the apparently earless Borg. Nodding, Zyrian said, "Okay! Great! And the Iron Artist? Discussion, please." Gertrude began, "It is standard fare, although perhaps a tad more abstract than normal from Seltat's brush. The theme of eyeballs and mouth lends a sense of surrealism to the entire piece, drawing the focus away from the rest of the composition. It makes one feel insignificant, as if the universe were peering at you, assessing you, then preparing to pass judgment. It could be seen as a political sketch upon the business of beauty pageants, the blur of bodies passing by, with eyes always ogling the contestants." "Once again, my psychic friend, you overanalyze," responded Sasig. "The painting is the exposition of clashing cultures. This is less about what the picture /is/, than it is about the colors. Note the unsubtle hues, the use of primaries. The artist is shouting, he is saying: 'World! Look at this! Look at me!' It is a typical Seltat composition." The Ferrengi snapped out of his long-distance flirtation with a sultry human woman in the crowd. He peered perfunctorily at the picture under discussion, then said with a shrug. "I don't like it. It doesn't look like Miss Milky Way. I like my art to look like things." He returned to making eyes at the woman. "And with that statement, we come to the announcement of the winner. Each judge, including myself, has drafted a score, and the marks have been tabulated," explained Zyrian. In the background thundered a growling timpani, adding to the growing suspense. People in the audience began to shout, to beg for the name of the winner. Assimilation glanced up to the ceiling, seeing directions to that end, which would explain the less than enthusiastic attitude. To his side, Seltat sighed deeply. "And the winner is...Assimilation! Welcome our new Iron Artist!" 'Cheer' flashed on the overhead teleprompters; and security brandished their weapons, all carefully out of sight of the cameras. The crowd applaud vigorously, whistles mixed in with the occasional yelp of not-quite pain as someone didn't do their best to greet Assimilation to the ranks of Artist Arena greats. Zyrian, all smiles, turned to acknowledge Assimilation. As the hologram approached, he waved for security, uncunningly disguised as those people always needed when heavy things required to be moved, to advance on-stage. Back facing the camera, Zyrian whispered to the stunned Seltat, "You've become too much trouble, boy. And you," was directed to Assimilation, "will do as I tell you to. You will come with me to the center of the arena to be presented. You will be happy. Ecstatic. You will then head towards the door at the side of the stage and exit. You will not deviate. Do you understand?" Assimilation blinked. "No compliance. We have other obligations. We are Borg. Our sub-collective will retrieve us." "I don't think so," murmured Zyrian. "Do as I say, else there may be a bit of a...mess. It is /so/ difficult and expensive to perform a mindwipe on so many audience members, but it has been done before. At least this isn't live, and any difficulties can be edited before release to subspace broadcast; and a proper ending sequence can be spliced in using holograms at a later date if necessary." Seltat paled as the guards arrived, flanking him. Each took one arm and began to drag him backwards. "Don't do it!" screamed the ex-Iron Artist. "It is a fake! A fake! It is fixed! Run while you can! Run! It isn't worth it! Run!" "Damn," cried Zyrian. "That tears it. Holograms it is. Get that filth out of my sight. And you, Assimilation, a session with the mindwipe machine is in store for you. Get the audience out of here and processed. Enough!" The background music abruptly cut and cameras whizzed upwards, flying out of sight. Security materialized without benefit of transporter beams, simply stepping forward from the shadows to become an overt presence, phaser rifles alertly lifted, ready for trouble. The three judges, heads close for a confidential conference, broke their huddle. As one, they stood and quickly shuffled out of sight before Zyrian could order something done to them, or worse, retract their bribes. "I said, get them out of here!" screamed Zyrian with a motion towards the audience. His demeanor was utterly opposite his earlier jovial host attitude. Several crowd members flinched. Others sighed in resignation, vague memories haunting the edges of awareness concerning earlier mindwipes of Artist Arena incidents. The majority of guards escorted people towards the main exit behind the bleachers. "Run!" wailed Seltat's voice as he disappeared through another doorway, dragged away by his attendants. The noise cut abruptly as the soundproof door swung shut. As Zyrian fumed, muttering half-discernible words under his breath, the GameShow Host's tacky robe was holographically substituted for a plain business suit. Suddenly he looked up, piercing Assimilation with a look, "Are you still here, too? Security! Get him installed in his apartment, and get him a session with Dr. Su and her machines right away!" "Yes, sir," acknowledged a guard crisply, one of two now flanking Assimilation, phasers shoved into the small of his back. "But we are no longer an artist. We are Borg. Release this unit," protested Assimilation as the pair of security marched him towards the door previously utilized by Seltat. One guard shrugged indifferently. "Sorry, guv-sir. We's gots our orders, not to mention paychecks. Down to the cellar you go." The voice of the man was apologetic. "Don't try anything funny, 'cause me and Tony don't want to hurt you." Assimilation loaded creative suicide scenario #55. As the door neared, the option was analyzed and found woefully wanting, but it was the only alternative open short of meeting Dr. Su. Oh well, it seemed that if he were fated to terminate far from the sub-collective, far from the Collective, far from Borg immortality, it would only be a predictable end to a monotonous existence. Assimilation abruptly halted, jerking his two surprised guards to a stop. "We will not comply," he uttered as he turned to reach for the one designated Tony. And then, lights were extinguished, the essence of sight removed. Brutally, sensations flooded Assimilation, both data and body, as the cocoon was lifted. He stumbled, then caught himself, as he found himself standing where he had begun adjacent to vat #7 of Nanite Assembly Room #3, hand on a data pillar; and the intranets were alive with thousands of conversations while dataspaces streamed information by the tetrabyte. {Your mental signature disappeared, as did your onboard physical presence. Where were you?} demanded Captain to Assimilation. Assimilation, still stunned, could not order his mind quick enough, prompting command and control to ransack his immediate memories. As the computer dispassionately fed interrupted datastreams concerning vat #7's elemental balance (requirement: potassium), Assimilation felt part of his mind tear. Usually, when his hierarchy was allowed to perform its function, Assimilation was on the end which coerced information out of a subject, but all drones were knowledgeable of the sensation, knew that it could come at any time. Normally, however, there was a bit more warning, a bit more stability to the situation. Blinking as he gathered the shreds of his mind, his balance, Assimilation quieted the computer through a reflexive command to add potassium. Within the dataspaces, the Iron Artist show was digested, absorbed. Assimilation automatically captured an audio-visual datastream which impinged upon his consciousness. "Sorry you were put on hold," spouted an eyeball which was suddenly in Captain's nodal intersection, "but most of you weren't necessary. This reality only required one, and Assimilation seemed best in this instance." The Director swam up through the floor, stabilizing with the feet it didn't have several centimeters above the ground. It peered downwards. "Dang. I've gotta do something about my phase stabilization. I think /someone/ keeps 'readjusting' it every time I am required to go corporeal." The words were clearly directed to someone or something not immediately present. Second, present, asked sarcastically, "What are we, a phone?" "What an archaic concept," responded Iris after a short pause. "No, you aren't a phone, but you can still be put on hold. Limbo is a better term, actually. Say, where is Captain?" The Director spun in a midair circle, trailing bubbles behind it from its pseudocigar. "Regeneration," answered Second brusquely. "He is not required to be present. You speak to all through me. Or you could speak to the empty air. It is all the same to us." The eyeball shrugged, dismissing Second's sardonic response as irrelevant. "Rolling is occurring. And three, two, one...away you go." Assimilation, who had finally reordered his mind sufficiently to note exterior sensors were fixated on a starless nothing which was nevertheless a something, had time, had space, had a uniform energy, felt that shift which heralded the drop into Nothing. Sensors' fit also punctuated the change. Swiftly the insectoid was put to sleep. {Sensors is going to be a very sad buggy before this is all done,} noted Doctor. {She is not designed to be flicked on and off like a light switch. It is not good for her wittle brain.} {She is of species #6766. Her neurological physiology is already twisted, and herself even more so. Maybe she'll stop speaking in third person when it is all over,} retorted Second in the intranets. The eyeball checked its PADD, touching two buttons. "Well, my lotto numbers didn't fare well this week. I haven't won anything since they installed those precognitive filters on the ping-pong ball machine. Used to that I could at least see one or two numbers, and sheer guessing worked to gain me another to win a free ticket at least. As far as the roll...you are coming in for a landing, all of you. I hope you like variety shows." {Variety shows are not painting,} managed to say Assimilation. {I never saw the point in musicals. The color is still off in vat #7. Not enough potassium was added. It is too much Goop #8, and not enough Goop #2 in hue.} As Assimilation rambled about the continued state of unbalance within the nanite assembly vat, Artist Arena already shelved to the depths of memory storage amid the other punctuations in his existence, the great majority of the sub-collective pondered. For the exterior watcher, there was only the slightest of pauses between the Director's disparate comments and Second opening his mouth to reply. "Variety shows? What do variety shows have to do..." It was too late: Iris had vanished.